A Grief Re-Membered

This is a simple practice of remembrance of a person you have lost–whether by death or by absence.  It re-members the person within your circle of important people, effectively bringing them back into the relationship you have with him or her to the present tense; it does not relegate the relationship to the past, forgotten as our culture seems to dictate.  This is because we typically carry the remembrance of them with us and their influence is in some way subtle or powerful, but is not erased.

Our loved ones do not vanish out of our consciousness after they stop breathing or interacting with us; they continue to speak to us and inform our present–sometimes in surprising ways.  If you are missing someone, this is one way to honour and re-member the relationship with your loved one as perpetual and life-giving to your present experience.

First, we can say “Thank you”.

Think about the person and the positive qualities and influence they held in your life. If you could sit with them right now, what could you thank them for? What do you appreciate most about them? How was the world positively changed by them being in it?

  • For who you are (what I know and love about you)
  • For the light you bring into this world and my heart
  • For the influence you had and are still having on me
  • For the influence you bring into our family and others
  • For the role you have…

Next, we can say “I Love You”.

Think about how the person is loved (was loved) and how you could express your love to them (writing, singing, creating). What is it about them that you especially appreciate or enjoy? What do you especially miss?

  • I love this about you
  • I love you because…
  • Others love this about you
  • You bring love into the world by…
  • I miss this about you…

Peace to you and your household in 2017,

Shari van Spronsen, MC, RCC, CCC
Twitter: @gottasecond

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