Apr 2015: Breaking the Cold Silence in Couple Relationships

If you are feeling that true connection doesn’t seem to happen very often in your relationship, here are some ideas for upping the intimacy and affection…

  • Catch each other doing something right (be specific, say it often)
  • Adore and cherish each other (look up the definitions for ideas around this)
  • Work at meeting each other’s desires instead of demanding needs be met
  • Discuss expectations (because they are not mind-readers)
  • Turn toward your partner and not away, in words & deeds and physicality
  • Discover your partner’s love language(s) and look for ways to create a flourishing
  • Dream and plan together—as a couple first! (These conversations often get overlooked after a period of time together or after children arrive in the family)
  • Uphold your partner’s reputation before your friends & family (don’t share secrets, criticise them, or talk about your sex life)
  • Know your partner’s preferences, likes and dislikes, favourites and vulnerabilities
  • Forgive; lay down old resentments and hurts and records of wrong
  • Increase intimacy—all kinds: language, affection, touch and sex
  • Share stories to others of how your partner succeeded, overcame, and persevered
  • Develop admiration and affection practices and use them often


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