If you are feeling that true connection doesn’t seem to happen very often in your relationship, here are some ideas for upping the intimacy and affection…

• Catch each other doing something right (be specific, say it often)
• Adore and cherish each other (look up the definitions for ideas around this)
• Work at meeting each other’s desires instead of demanding needs be met
• Discuss expectations (because they are not mind-readers)
• Turn toward your partner and not away, in words & deeds and physicality
• Discover your partner’s love language(s) and look for ways to create a flourishing
• Dream and plan together—as a couple first! (These conversations often get overlooked after a period of time together or after children arrive in the family)
• Uphold your partner’s reputation before your friends & family (don’t share secrets, criticise them, or talk about your sex life)
• Know your partner’s preferences, likes and dislikes, favourites and vulnerabilities
• Forgive; lay down old resentments and hurts and records of wrong
• Increase intimacy—all kinds: language, affection, touch and sex
• Share stories to others of how your partner succeeded, overcame, and persevered
• Develop admiration and affection practices and use them often