March 2016: Asking a “better” question

There are all sorts of reasons for asking questions: curiosity, learning, information, checking in, and listening are a few. But how about the feeling you get when you hear, “That’s a great question! I’ve never thought about that before.”

Some magic just happened; there’s a pause, a reorienting, and a connection made that wasn’t there before. You moved past the rules (e.g., make sure your question is open-ended) and into relationship. That’s when I think we have asked a better question, one that opens up possibilities and narratives and conversations.

A ‘better’ question…

  • Unpacks & sifts through our immediate experience to what is vital
  • Keeps us grounded in the values & beliefs we do hold
  • Allows us to be truly present and a witness to other people in a way that brings health & healing
  • Encourages “beginner’s mind”: curiosity, openness, a not-knowing stance that invites more connection & authenticity
  • Demonstrates our careful listening and therefore our care & compassion

And, perhaps, to close the circle, a good question might also inspire a good answer and, then, another better question.

Peace to you and your household.

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